It's April, which means it's one of the most hectic, taxing, but rewarding times of the year for student activities folks. It means we're saying thank you to outgoing student organization officers and welcoming new officers with new ideas, tons of energy, and a determination to succeed.
During the first of a five-week officer transition for the student organization I advise, we did your typical expectation-setting activity: where we mutually create expectations for each other. Among the usual expectations they had of me, one stood out from the rest: a request that I always have tissues in my office. Though it slightly surprised me at the time, it made sense. The request came from students who had already spent time crying in my office during beautiful conversations where we processed through emotions, countered vulnerability with support, and realized how to take care of ourselves during times of turmoil. What they didn't know, however, was the other side they don't get to see. Yes, I have tissues in my office for students. But there are those days where I need the tissues too. Advising a programming board requires high energy and lots of positivity. We have a lot of enthusiasm, and it's often go-go-go; you don't make 80 programs happen in 32 weeks without all of this. In just one year, I've shared countless laughs with the students, watched them excel beyond anyone's expectations, overcome challenges together, and grow both as individuals and as an organization. As adviser, a lot of my administrative work goes into helping them navigate policies and procedures. It's no secret that higher education has a plethora of both policies and procedures, and it's not always fun or straightforward to work through those. There are days where I have to disappoint students because of the nature of the beast. I've often had to be the bearer of bad news, letting down a student who is incredibly excited about an idea they've had. A lot of times, the cause of the disappointment is beyond my control. But I've never been one to assign blame, and, even when there is a clear person at fault, I avoid throwing a colleague under the bus when delivering bad news to a student. This means a lot of the disappointment, frustration, confusion, and anger gets directed toward me. It's hard, but it's a part of the job and I've come to terms with it. I stay focused on what I can control and make sure I do everything I can within my power - and I realize there are times when that just isn't enough, and I have to accept that. Every disappointment is a learning experience that I use to better set up students for success the next time. The harder days are those the students really don't see. The days where I have to say goodbye to bright and inspiring colleagues who I'm excited to see take on new adventures but whose departure means the loss of my support system at work. The days where budget cuts strike fear and uncertainty throughout our offices. The days where decisions are made that make my confidence in the values and direction of my workplace waver. There are those days I spend the ten minutes between meetings crying in the bathroom just trying to pull myself together and be the best adviser I can be before walking into the next one-on-one with a student. There are days I feel utterly spent from lying awake all night, anxious thoughts running through my mind. Those days are usually followed by nights of passing out on my couch at 6 p.m. There are days I have no idea what tomorrow holds, days that my individual future is so uncertain that I become physically sick. There are days where I want to just throw in the towel, give up, and let all the issues fall on someone else's plate. But I don't. I can't. There are so many more good days than bad ones; and those are amplified when I choose to stay focused on them. It's easy to become jaded, discouraged, resentful, and burnt out. But, I believe attitude is a choice. We may not be able to control everything, and we're sure as hell not going to agree with everything that happens, but we can control how we react, how we prepare, and how we advocate. We can refuse to perpetuate a culture of gossiping or complaining. We can choose our battles. We can check ourselves and do our best to prevent getting burnt out - after all, it's important we model these habits for our students. I do my job not for my colleagues or even for myself, but rather for the students I serve. And that's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me focused, motivated, sane, and positive. This focus on why I do what I do gets me through any disenchantment or disappointment I may have. Seeing my students succeed and seeing all their hard work pay off keeps me going. Seeing them begin to realize their potential - and develop self-confidence similar to the confidence I've had in them all along - keeps me going. Seeing them receive praise and appreciation for the impact they're making keeps me going. Seeing them learn to work together and achieve goal after goal keeps me going. These things don't just keep me going; they keep me happy and fulfilled. At the end of the day, every day is not easy. But the good days outweigh the bad, and I find comfort in knowing I am giving everything I have and am making at least a teeny impact along the way.
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Kristin KreherMy happiness comes from meaningful interactions, the outdoors, thrift shops, and saying "thank you." Archives
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